It's Not A Crush
by PrivateInterest
Summary: “My little rock star.” It was so sweet, the way he said those words and the way he held me. I loved it, because it felt as if we really were brother and sister. And then I hated it, for the same damn reason. Part one's finished, but not the whole story.
1. Chapter 1

Soooo… I have to admit that I've never thought I would write and even publish a fanfiction about real people… but my obsession on Adam is stronger than my moral principles. So I'm just gonna go with it. Besides, my friend kind of made me publish this story, so blame it on her, if it's horrible. :-D

**Disclaimer:** I don't own anything or anyone and I don't plan on making money out of this, just some fun. No harm is intended and I definitely don't suggest those events happened in real life.

I know it has been done before, but I'm going to attempt to make it different and most importantly interesting. The story begins during the final four week on American Idol, goes all the way through the tour and some more time after it. However, this story has two alternative options of development. Part one is common to both versions, but part two will have two versions.

It's Allison's POV all the way through… Hope you enjoy it!

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**Part one**

1 – Battery

"That's it. I give up!" I snapped my biology book closed with annoyance; I've been trying to study for the last hour, but without much success. I kept reading the same sentence over and over again, unable to focus on the text. When I realized I didn't understand a word from what I've read, I decided that there was no point in wasting more time.

"Need help?" Adam asked me from his bed. I was lying on a bed next to his and only now, as I looked around, I realized we were alone in the room. I haven't even noticed when Kris left the bedroom.

"No, thanks. I can't concentrate right now, I'll try later." He nodded and got back to the book he was reading, not noticing me gazing at him. "Adam?" I said quietly after a little while of silence. He looked over at me again. "Can I ask you something?"

"Sure." He closed the book and sat up, turning all of his attention to me.

"Well… I don't know exactly how to fraise it…" I hesitated.

"Just ask. It's okay." Adam encouraged.

"You know how everybody treats me like a little girl…"

"By 'everybody' you mean Danny?" He chuckled.

"No, not just him. I mean, even before, when everyone was still here, nobody took me seriously. I know I'm the youngest and sometimes I act childishly, but sometimes I am serious…"

"Don't worry about it, it's only because you've been the only teenager here for a long time."

"I know." I sighed.

"Think about it in a different perspective. You're the youngest to stay so long on Idol, this season and probably ever. Without you it wouldn't have been the same, I'm sure everybody feels this way, because we all love your fiery personality, including Danny."

"Thanks." I felt the blush warming my cheeks. "But actually I wanted to ask you something else." He waited for me to continue. "Even if you're right and it's only because of my age, why don't you treat me the same way? Like a twelve year old or something?"

"I'm not sure I understand the question." Adam smiled and I tried to ignore my sinking heart. I was already getting used to this kind of responses of my body to simple things involving Adam, like smiling or talking or even looking. I've always liked him and we really became close friends during the show, but lately I had troubles with convincing myself that the affection I felt for him was the same as I would feel for an older brother. "So, you actually like to be thought of as a little girl?"

"Of course not! That's exactly what I mean, you do take me as a grown up person and never look down at me. That's great. I just wondered why."

"I always look down at you, literally." I laughed and he continued, more seriously. "I don't know, maybe it's because sometimes I act like a kid myself. Besides, I don't think that people should be judged by their age. Look at you, you're only seventeen, but you already know exactly who you are and what you want in life. It's something not all the thirty-year-olds have." Adam looked straight into my eyes, like he always did and I just couldn't help it. I got up, walked to his bed and hugged him, not saying a word. He held me for a long moment, then kissed my cheek and pulled away, too soon, if you ask me. "Besides, you never looked at me like some kind of a freak, while others threw those strange looks at me, which I'm actually used to."

"Are you kidding me? When I first met you I thought _'Man, this dude is so cool!'_ and that was before I got to know you or even before I heard you sing!" He laughed and got up from his bed, wrapping an arm around my shoulders.

"Well, if you're not going to study anymore, let's go do a little rehearsal…" Usually I used school as an excuse to skip a practice or two, but this week I was ready to spend every minute in rehearsal of my duet with Adam. Of course, I wanted all of the songs I was singing to turn out great, but the duet was something more than just a song for me… Besides, it was also a lot of fun with Adam.

***

"Great!" Adam smiled a huge smile as the last accords of the song came to end. We were practicing our duet for the last hour or so and he always had something nice to say to me. I, on the other side, was speechless. It felt almost like I was singing with a huge, famous rock star and not my best friend. "You are incredible." He raised his hand in the air and I slapped it with mine.

"I'm learning from the best." I laughed happily. It was fun even to work with Adam.

"Yeah, Slash is amazing!" He said enthusiastically.

"I was talking about you, silly!" I punched him playfully on the shoulder.

"Well, I actually think you're gonna be better than me."

"Is it even possible?" Even though I was laughing, I truly meant it and hoped he knew I did.

"Sure. You're natural. And your '_Cry Baby_'? It's mind-blowing! You'll be fantastic, sis!" He reassured me.

"I'll do my best, but you'll rock the stage, you'll see."

That evening I felt very energetic and hyperactive, for some reason. It was already Sunday and it felt as if the time was passing faster and faster the closer we came to the show's night. I knew that even in the best outcome for me there are only two weeks of Idol left, so I didn't want to waste a single moment. Unfortunately, not everyone was as excited and active as I was.

"Come on people! Let's do something." Kris and Danny were both watching television with exhausted looks, as if they had just ran a marathon.

"Relax, kiddo, we are doing something. We're watching TV." Danny said without taking his eyes off of the screen.

"You're boring!" I announced.

"We're tired. Why don't you try it too from time to time?"

"Oh please!" I rolled my eyes. Not they could see it. "Seriously, guys, there're only four of us left now and in two days someone else leaves. And all of this –" I waved my hands in different directions. "– will be over soon. You'll have lots of time to be tired, so why waste the little time we've got here?"

"We still have the tour and then millions of things to do and no time to just do nothing." Kris commented lazily.

"And that's a bad thing?" I decided to try another strategy, since the last one wasn't working. "Why don't we play something funny? Like we used to when everybody was still here. Truth or Dare or parodies or that game with the letters and songs…"

"Let's play parodies." I heard Adam from the entrance and when I turned around, he was leaning against the wall next to the doorway.

"Oh no…" Danny moaned.

"I can do Danny." Adam suggested with a smile. "_I'm Grandpa Danny_." He said mockingly. "_I'm so much older than everybody else, so I have to be boring and I'm not allowed to have fun, because only babies Like Allison can do that._" I burst into laughter and despite his visible efforts Kris couldn't stop himself from following my example.

"Hey!" Danny did his best to not smile.

"Sorry, but it did sound a little like you." Kris shrugged apologetically.

"Think you're better, church boy?" Adam winked at Kris playfully. We all knew how much Kris hated to be called that kind of names, but it was clear that Adam only joked. "You don't even have the excuse of being _old_!" Adam purposely emphasized the last word, throwing a meaningful look towards Danny.

"Invented any new trends, screech Glambert?" Kris made an attempt to mock back, but Adam only laughed, taking it as a compliment, I'm sure.

"Nope, just the guyliner so far." He replied and we all laughed. After that we joked about each other for a while, laughing until we were all breathless and tearful, then Adam and I got into a pillow fight somehow, which Danny found annoying.

"I wish my cell phone battery could run as long as you two, without –" By this he earned a pillow straight into his face from Adam. It led us into a whole speech as Danny complained about his glasses being almost broken.

I don't know at what point exactly I'd fallen asleep, but I remember hearing Adam saying in a low voice "I'll take her." and then I felt his arms under myself. I wanted to protest, but my tongue stubbornly refused to move. When I could feel the bed underneath my body, I finally opened my eyes to thank him, but Adam wasn't there and the sun was already shining brightly from outside. My first guess was that it all had been a dream, but then I saw I was still fully dressed in jeans and T-shirt. Strangely, the night just flew by, as if I just skipped it. I couldn't even remember dreaming something, although I felt fully rested, so I must have gotten some sleep.

After showering and changing cloths, I went downstairs, to find everybody eating breakfast in the kitchen.

"Good morning, sunshine." Adam greeted me cheerfully.

"Morning." I smiled back.

"Morning." Danny and Kris replied one after another.

"Breakfast!" Adam put a plate with pancakes on the table and I set in front of it.

"So, your battery ran low, finally?" Danny chuckled. And it was the first joke about me that day, which was followed by many from Danny, until I decided I've had enough of it.

After we finished our usual rehearsals and I did some of my schoolwork that afternoon, I went to the living room where Danny sat on the couch and read a magazine. I had a glass of water in my hand and when he got up from his sit and started walking towards the kitchen I simply couldn't resist the temptation. I wasn't a usually a revenge seeker, but he did his best to annoy me the whole day, so…

I tiptoed towards Danny, trying to be very quiet so he wouldn't notice me. When I looked to the side I saw Adam smiling a little as he watched me from where he sat. I winked at him and stopped about a foot away from Danny. I raised my hand with the glass above his head and turned it upside down so all of its contents spilled on him. He turned around with a furious look on his wet face and I couldn't tell how serious exactly he was. Well, his glasses looked like windows on a rainy day, so it couldn't be good.

"Run." He warned and I obeyed, but not before showing him my tongue, of course. He chased me to the hallway and it didn't take him long to catch me. Danny lifted me and put me on his shoulder, carrying me like a spoiled child that disobeyed and had to be punished. I screamed, half laughing.

"You're such a big pain in the ass!" We passed the place where Adam had been sitting before and I noticed he wasn't there anymore.

"Are you sure you can use those words around me?" I asked sarcastically.

"Oh, sorry, I forgot you're twelve!" He replied in the same manner.

"You sure don't let me forget about the fact that I'm _seventeen_!" He chuckled at that.

"Yeah, you're getting old already."

"I think you're the only one who's getting old here!" I hoped I didn't hurt his feelings. Not that he didn't deserve it… "And put me down already!" To my surprise, he actually stopped and put me on my feet.

"Next time go annoy someone your age." He looked down at me and added. "And size."

"I would, if there was somebody like this around." I shrugged with a smile. Then I caught the sight of Adam coming into the living room with one had behind his back and he put a finger on his lips, so I focused on Danny again. "Besides, if I don't annoy you, you'll be bored." Adam tapped on his shoulder with his free hand and when Danny turned around, a huge piece of the chocolate cake we had a few days ago was smashed into his face. "Or not." I giggled and Adam put his hand on Danny's shoulder calmly.

"We won't let you grow old so quickly." He assures him with a smile, while Danny licked his lips. "You've got a few months till you're officially old." Adam teased and we all laughed in response.

"But the cake, man? Really, such a waste!"

"Nah, it was too old anyway. I think it's spoiled." Danny's face twisted it a disgusted expression under the chocolate cream.

"Why is it always me with the food on the face?" He complained, still smiling.

"Trust me, getting the food out of the hair was the hardest for me." I raised a long red lock of my hair and they both burst into laughter.

***

I knocked on the door of Adam and Kris's room and opened it as soon as I heard Adam's 'yeah?' from the other side. They were sitting on their beds, looking quite serious, which made me wonder what they were talking about. Sometimes I really envied Kris for sharing a room with Adam and being able to talk with him through the night. Though I doubted they stayed up very long, Kris wasn't a night person. Still, it could be nice to be in his place.

"I'm sorry to interrupt."

"It's okay." Adam answered, looking at me briefly and then moving his gaze back to Kris, who was looking down on his feet.

"Dinner's ready, so hurry up, before Danny finishes it all."

"We'll be down in a minute." Again it was Adam who answered and I got a little concerned about Kris.

"Okay." I left the room, closing the door behind me. I was curious and worried about what was going on, but at that moment I wondered if Adam was telling Kris stuff he never talked to me about. That thought made me jealous in a very childish way, which I'm definitely not proud of. It's not kindergarten, but I wished Adam would talk to me too, like he did with Kris.

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Review, pleasssse! :))


	2. Chapter 2

Here goes chapter 2... Still don't own anything.

Enjoy!

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2 - Big brother duties

By Monday night I was so nervous I could barely eat. I felt the guys' eyes on me as I poked at my dinner with a fork, without really tasting it. Neither one of them was used to see me that way, but only Kris and Danny seemed to be unable to stop asking if I were alright. Adam apparently already knew I wasn't, because after dinner he approached me as I was standing on the balcony of my room.

"What's wrong, sweetie?" He asked me in this friendly, caring voice of his.

"Nothing." I tried to sound convincing, but my own tears gave me away.

"Tell me." He put a finger under my chin to make me look at him.

"Don't worry, I'm fine." I smiled, but it probably looked ugly, because his expression became even more serious.

"Allie, you know you can tell me anything, right?"

"Adam!" We heard Danny shouting from downstairs. "Come here for a moment!" I was grateful for the opportunity to avoid this conversation. Adam could never say no to someone who needed his help and by the time he would be back I could pretend to be asleep. Perfect.

He didn't move for a few moments, simply staring into my eyes in a way that made me feel he could read my mind. Then he finally let go of my chin and turned to the entrance to the bedroom.

"Take your jacket." He told me calmly.

"What?" I asked in confusion.

"This conversation isn't over. Come on." He took my hand and pulled me into the house, dragging me downstairs. Well, maybe he could read my mind after all.

"Hey, Adam, we thought –" Danny began talking as soon as he saw Adam in the hallway.

"Sorry, guys, I have big brother duties." He said jokingly, grabbing his jacket. "We're going for a walk." He explained to the guys.

"We are?" I put on my jacket automatically.

"Let's go." Adam rolled his eyes and opened the door.

"Where are we going?"I followed him out of the house.

"Didn't you hear? We're going out for a walk."

"Okay, but why?"

"Because I want you to talk to me without anyone interrupting." He shrugged. "And we both need some fresh air." He added and smiled. "Come on, let's talk."

"I don't know…" There was no way out of this and it always felt nice to talk to Adam, so I just gave in. "I guess I'm a bit…" I searched for the right word to describe my feelings at the moment. "Anxious and nervous, because it's all almost over and…"

"You mean Idol? There is still some time."

"Not a lot. Besides, I think there might be even less time for me."

"Where has all of your confidence gone to? You were amazing last week and you're gonna be even better this week. It's rock week. And you know how to rock!"

"I don't know… Simon keeps telling me how boring I am and let's face it, he knows what he's saying."

"Simon has been wrong before. Take last week for example: you were safe, despite everything he said and I, on the other hand, was in the bottom two after the performance Simon happened to be very impressed of."

"I still think it's a mistake. Everyone thinks 'Oh, well, he'll be safe anyway, there's no need to vote for him…' and eventually many people don't vote. I guess last week will shake them up a bit. I mean, look at you; you're already a star. You've been the winner since the very beginning."

"For me, it has never been about the winning itself. I was looking for the exposure when I came to Idol and I want to stay as long as possible to show as much of what I do as possible. It doesn't matter for me who gets the title. I actually think you deserve it."

"You don't need to say stuff like that to me. I'll live." I joked, but he remained serious.

"I know, but I always tell what's on my mind. I think that at seventeen you have already more talent and skills than many people ever do. I really mean it." He looked at me as he added the last words and it was very difficult not to believe him.

"Thanks." I smiled slightly.

"Do you want me to paint your fingernail too, just for luck?" He joked and I raised my hand, with fully polished nails, remembering how hard we all laughed that morning, when Adam painted Kris' thumb nail in blue. It was before the rehearsals that brought all of the angst and insecurity on me.

"No, but I still think I'm next to go."

"So what if you are?" He stopped walking and turned to face me. "You're gonna be a star, no matter what. People love your music, people love you. You're already famous and you'll be able to record an album soon. You can make all of your dreams come true, even if you don't win." He was so damn convincing, only he had no idea about the most ambitious and impossible of my dreams, the most forbidden and the most desired. My heart skipped a bit as I looked into his warm eyes. As if all of the pressure of the show wasn't enough, I also had to deal with those growing feelings I developed for him and to hide them properly.

"You're right." I must've sounded uncertain.

"But?.."

"It's stupid, really…" I wasn't sure about telling him. In my mind it sounded a little immature. He waited patiently. "I don't want this to end. Not yet, at least." Alright, it sounded even more immature than I imagined.

"What do you mean?" We both started walking again.

"I mean the whole experience of Idol; performing with everybody every week, the rehearsals for those performances and the mentors we get to work with… I mean this week has been amazing. It was so much fun… I'm really gonna miss that. And the time we all spend together, all of the crazy stuff, the joking and goofing around and even the fighting." We both smiled as the memories filled our minds.

"I'll miss this too. Honestly, I'm a little sad to see it coming to an end as well, but then we have the tour soon, so you'll have a lot of time to get tired of all of us and miss your family."

"Yeah, I guess so. I really do miss them; I have never been apart from them form such a long time, but now I have you guys and you're like a second family to me."

"Aww..." Adam put an arm around my shoulders and pulled me closer to him. "You know, I really do feel like you're my little sister." He kissed the top of my head and I wrapped my arms around his waist. I wasn't sure how much the 'sister' part made me happy exactly. On the one hand, I felt ecstatic about the fact that he cared about me, but on the other hand, it hurt me to know he would never like me in a different way. The way I liked him. "Listen," He stopped walking again, making me stop as well. "Whatever happens and whoever goes home this week, it won't change anything." He looked down at me with brilliant blue eyes and I felt my heart melting.

"Whoever goes home?" I asked, barely able to speak.

"Yeah; you, me, Danny, Kris. It doesn't matter. We'll keep in touch, until and after the tour. I think we'd found here real friendships, beyond the competition and all."

"You say it like you could be eliminated Wednesday night."

"But I might be." He didn't seem very concerned about it though. "I'm next in line, remember?" He chuckled lightly. "I was in bottom two last time…"

"Give me a break…" I rolled my eyes. "See you in the finals!" I quoted Paula's enthusiastic encouragement in the very beginning of the season and Adam laughed in response.

"Look, we'll do our best tomorrow and the rest is up to America. I just don't want you to be so upset, because it's really not that important now." I inhaled deeply and hugged him tighter, leaning my head against his chest. "Besides, I need my spitfire to rock tomorrow." Adam wrapped both arms around me now and I found it hard to keep my breathing even. I really hoped he couldn't hear my quickened heartbeats, but couldn't find enough strength within myself to step back. I counted five heartbeats of his before he released me from the hug. "Come on, we should get back, it's late."

"Yeah, we should get some rest, tomorrow's a long day." I sighed and we slowly paced towards the mansion. "Adam?"

"Mmm..?"

"Thanks." He just smiled in response and stroked my arm slightly. I didn't know how to explain it, even to myself, but I truly felt better after talking to him. Maybe because I finally talked to someone about some of my feelings, or maybe because it was Adam and he knew the right words to say to calm me down, either way, I felt somehow more peaceful and optimistic. I was actually excited again about tomorrow's show and anticipation started to get through all of the worries and negative thoughts.

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Next chapter's coming very soon. Tell me what you think so far. :))


	3. Chapter 3

Hey everybody! When I said next chapter is coming soon, I really meant it! So here it is. :D

Thank you all so much for reading and the great reviews, I'm glad you liked it!

EO4EVER, I actually saw that interview when Allison said she liked biology, but in the story she just can't concentrate on homework, no matter what subject it is. And with Adam in the room, I don't blame her ;-)… And yes, David was as young as her and there was also Jordin Sparks, who actually won the whole thing. I thought it would be a nice thing to say to cheer her up, because it's not like they would start counting or something. But if you think I should change it… I could totally do it. It's not going to change the whole idea, so just tell me if you think I should.

Oh, and if you wondered, I don't own anything today either.

OK, so no more talking! Enjoy!

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3 – Thursday night

Thursday night arrived very quickly, as if the whole day was winded forward. Before I had time to think I was already singing _Cry Baby_ on the stage, in front of the huge audience and practically the whole nation. I was so proud of myself after that performance, that I simply couldn't help myself from answering to Simon's negative review. I knew his opinion didn't change mach anymore; it was all up to the people who did or didn't like it, but he was never satisfied and always found something wrong with my performances lately. I thought the song turned out pretty good actually, the audience seemed to like it and it felt right, so when Simon decided to ruin what could be my last performance alone on American Idol, I just couldn't bare it anymore.

Surprisingly, Simon was glad I stood up for my performance and it ended up well. Go figure. While Danny and Kris were singing on stage, Adam and I changed our outfits for our next song, which we were going to sing together. When we both were ready, we still had some time to see Danny's performance of Dream On, which we knew would become the new way of teasing him later, though we did congratulate him and told him he was great.

"Except the scream in the end…" Adam chuckled and Danny grimaced.

"That bad?"

"Well…" Adam was too honest to lie; he always said what he really thought about everything. Besides, how could he, the master of musical screaming, say it was good? "You'll see when you watch the show…" I bit my bottom lip to stiffen a giggle and kept it quiet. "At least they know you're brave, man." Adam comforted jokingly and put a hand on his shoulder.

"Adam, Allison!" We heard our names and knew it was our cue.

"Let's go, sis." Adam walked to the entrance to the stage. "Rock it, baby." He winked at me and I looked at the sound man, waiting for him to sign to me. Then the music started and I walked to the stage, beginning the _Slow Ride _duet.

When Adam joined me on stage and we sang together, it felt like we not just performed, but lived through this song. We were in our own, privet and common world. Nobody else excited in that bubble we created on stage and the way we connected during those couple of minutes couldn't compare to anything I've experienced so far.

The song came to end in what seemed like both the shortest and the longest moment and I flew into Adam's arms, excitement overtaking me completely. He embraced me for a few seconds, before letting go and turning to the judges. The adrenalin was cursing through my veins, speeding up the beats of my heart. I felt like a real rock star on my own concert.

I was glad Adam kept his arm around my shoulders even after releasing me from the hug; because I'm not sure I would have been able to stand on my own. I would've either jump up and down or faint and fall from too much excitement.

The judges were saying great things about our performance and Simon even said Adam might have given me a chance to stay at the competition. It was the first nice thing I heard from him in a while and even the fact that he practically complemented Adam and not our duet, I was very pleased. Besides, I was grateful to Adam myself, I couldn't have done it without him, or with somebody else for that matter. Everything was perfect and I don't think there was anything that could have ruined that moment for me.

"You were amazing!" Adam beamed at me with that perfect smile of his when we got back to the backstage.

"Look who's talking!" I laughed. "Rock God." I quoted Kara smugly.

"Agh!" He wrapped his arm around my shoulders and messed up my hair with his other hand. "My little rock star." It was so sweet, the way he said those words and the way he held me. I loved it, because it felt as if we really were brother and sister. And then I hated it, for the same damn reason.

And even more than that, I hated to hate it. I would've been perfectly happy with us being close friends, including the siblings love, if not this stupid, absolutely pointless feeling deep down in my heart. Well, not that deep down anymore. I tried to ignore it very hard, but it wasn't as simple as it had been in the beginning. It was getting so much more difficult now that we were spending a lot of time together. It used to be so effortless. And now my heart would skip a beat every time he smiled at me or gazed into my eyes and it seemed he could read my thoughts… And then it would be harder to breathe and get a little overwhelming at times.

I'd convinced myself it was only a passing crush, since he was charming and sweet… and handsome… and already practically a star… and pretty much perfect. However, this couldn't possibly last for long eventually I had to admit I liked him a little bit more than was good for me. I wasn't stupid; I knew there could never be anything but friendship for us. Still, I caught myself thinking of him more often than once in a while. Not to mention my physical reactions to him…

I pushed those thoughts away so he wouldn't notice the change in my expression as I stared at him. Pulling a smile back on I hugged Kris and Danny, who were both very supportive and enthusiastic about our performance.

A few hours and a lot of talking later we watched the show and then finally went to our beds, but I was too excited to fall asleep. My heart was still beating so loudly that it seemed that the guys could hear it from their rooms. Flashbacks from the evening were flooding my mind, pictures changing one after another, preventing me from sleeping.

Eventually I gave up. I got up from my bed and tiptoed to the kitchen, careful not to wake anybody up. I was rarely unable to sleep at night and the whole situation felt strange to me. I grabbed a glass and poured some water from the fridge into it, without turning on the lights. The cold liquid cooled my throat a little, but I still felt flushed.

"You really shouldn't drink such cold water, you know?" Adam's sudden voice, just above a whisper, coming out of the darkness made me jump and spill some water on myself. I cursed under my breath, looking for a towel or a napkin – a pointless effort in the dark. "I'm sorry, did I scare you?" His voice sounded closer this time. At least I had an excuse for the extremely fast pace of my heart…

"I'll live. What are you doing here?" I whispered loudly.

"Same as you, I suppose." Suddenly I remembered where the napkins were, which happened to be in one of the top cupboards. Unfortunately, they were on the highest shelf and I knew I couldn't reach them. How embarrassing… I stared up at the napkins.

"I was hot, so I came down here to cool down a bit." It wasn't really a lie, was it?

"Couldn't fall asleep?" He chuckled with understanding.

"Yeah." I admitted. How well he could read me… Dang it!

"Me neither." I could hear the smile in Adam's voice and relaxed almost immediately, which didn't last for long, because then I felt him very close to me, our bodies almost touching. I didn't dare to turn around to face him or to move at all. And then he reached up and grabbed a few napkins from the cupboard. "Here you go." He handed them to me and stepped back, completely unaware of the effect he had on me.

"Thanks." I started to mop my chest to dry myself, feeling completely ridiculous for being embarrassed instead of just asking him to get the napkins for me. What was wrong with me? "You're handy; I don't even need a ladder when you're around." I noted, relaxing again.

"I'm glad I can be useful for something." He joked and we both laughed quietly. "You really shouldn't drink icy water though."

"Yes, Mom!" I mocked, rolling my eyes.

"It's bad for your voice." He added and I felt guilty for not thinking about it myself.

"Hopefully, I won't need it tomorrow." I sighed.

"Still worried you might go home?"

"I haven't given it much thought for the last few hours, honestly."

"Sorry for bringing it up." Adam leaned back against the kitchen counter next to me.

"It's okay. I'm not as anxious about it anymore. I think I want to stay now more than ever, though." I didn't tell him it was mostly because of him, I've said too much already.

"I can't wait for the tour to sing _Slow Ride_ with you again." I was grateful for the darkness surrounding us, because he couldn't see me blushing heavily. I felt so special when he said it, especially during the 'with you' part. It meant he really enjoyed our duet, as much as I did and he didn't regret choosing me as his partner, Of course, he'd mentioned it a few times already, but it was still nice to hear it. And then a forbidden thought started to float up from the dark corner of my mind, where I tried to keep it, overshadowing any common sense and reason left in me.

"Me too. Man, it was awesome." I shoved the thought away, doing my best to ignore it and the overwhelming feelings, which was a little harder to do. We stayed up for a while, just talking and laughing, until we noticed the sunrise in the horizon. We decided it was wiser to get at least a few hours of sleep and this time I drifted to sleep almost immediately.

Wednesday passed even faster than Tuesday and there we were, Danny and I, standing under the spotlight, waiting for a name to be called. I glanced briefly at Adam who was now sitting next to Kris, both safe for the night. He gave me an encouraging smile and I returned my focus to Ryan.

"After the record setting vote of sixty four million…" My heart was pounding powerfully in my chest as we listened to Ryan's every word. I made an effort to smile, but failed miserably. "Danny," I felt Danny's arm a little heavier, as he pressed it more to my shoulder. I didn't know if he tried to give me some strength or he was just too nervous to stand still, but suddenly I couldn't imagine the mansion without him. At this point we all were practically family and whatever the outcome of tonight was, it couldn't be good. Of course, I could be comforted by the fact that Adam was safe for the night, he completely deserved it. The silence was so long and torturing that I had the desire to scream 'oh come on, just tell us already!', but stayed quiet. "You are safe." The words hit me like a lightning bolt and it took me a moment to register the meaning while Danny hugged me. I knew he cared about me, but I could see he was trying not to show his relief. And I couldn't blame him; he wanted to be safe and so did I, I knew I would have been happy to stay even if he went home. But it was I who was going home. Tears filled my eyes, but I fought them back and forced a smile. _'You knew it was gonna happen, you knew it.' _I reminded myself time after time.

"Allison Iraheta, everyone!" Ryan announced and I waved to the shouting audience. All of the judges got up to their feet to applaud and then I turned to the screen on which they showed my journey on Idol.

I was looking at the pictures as one replaced the previous, remembering the whole experience from the very beginning. I laughed at the funny moments on the tape, but my mind was working so much faster, showing me so much more moments, some of them weren't even captured on camera. Soon I realized most of those memories were of me with Adam.

I heard his words to me in my head again _"You're gonna be a star, no matter what."_ And then I knew exactly what I would miss the most. I would miss him. I would miss spending time with him, performing with him, joking around with him, talking to him… living with him. And only then did I acknowledge I was crying.

Of course, I wanted to succeed in the singing career, to be known and loved. Sure, I've had the dream to get to the end of the show and be the American Idol. But at those moments, as the crowd was shouting my name and the judges clapped enthusiastically, I knew I didn't need to win the competition to achieve my goals. Now, more than anything else, I wanted and needed to be close to Adam, even if it was just as a little sister. Ironically, I was leaving Idol with this realization.

The clip was over, I grinned through my tears and tried to calm myself down to be able to sing the song. Ryan talked a little more and then the stage was all mine. And I sang with all I had. Ironically, I sang 'Cry Baby' with tears streaming down my face and my voice breaking at times. By the time Paula hugged me I was out of tune, barely able to force my voice louder than a whisper. I didn't care, because the emotion was so much more real than it had been the night before. I wasn't judged anymore and I knew it, so I just let myself be carried away by the song.

After the song ended and I came back to the stage both sad because I was leaving and happy for all the support I was getting. The guys came up to me as Ryan was speaking and he practically pushed me to Danny, who gave me a bear hug, while Kris and Adam clapped. I really didn't want to do this part yet, because knew I was too emotional at the moment and the goodbyes would make it only worse. I would much rather to do it later, a little more privately and not in front of the eyes of the whole country. I pulled away, but it seemed wrong to leave it that way, so I let out an enthusiastic shout, raising my fist in the air in front of them. Then Adam pulled me into a tight hug and that I couldn't resist. That was it; I knew I was going to break down completely, but screw it!

"I'll miss you." Adam didn't bother to lower his voice as he spoke into my ear. I could hear tears in his suddenly husky voice and couldn't help it anymore, letting the tears pour once more.

"I'll miss you too." I whispered back, unable to talk properly. He had to let go of me, though neither of us wanted it. _'There will be time for goodbyes.'_ I told myself. Adam locked his gaze with mine, smiling widely the most beautiful smile the nature could have created and I couldn't look away for a moment, smiling back.

Then I finally turned around and hugged Kris who rubbed my back encouragingly. Ryan finished the show and the three of them told me how great I am and how much they would miss me. Adam kissed my cheek and said "I miss you already, but it's not the end, Allie.", and I felt more part of this family than I ever have.

"It's only the beginning." Kris assured me and I smiled back at all of them.

The next few hours were a blur of conversations with everybody from the show, with interviewers, with my family and finally with the guys when I packed my things back at the mansion. And then it was all over. I was home again, as if I never left. The only thing that changed was _everything_.

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Hope you liked it... Next chapter is coming even sooner than this one. I think.

Tell me what you think! :D


	4. Chapter 4

Okay so here's another chapter, soon as promised. Thanks for reading and reviewing!

Don't own a thing…

Hope you enjoy it!

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4 – The Finale

After leaving Idol my life changed completely from what I'd know before the show or even what I got used to during the show. People knew who I was now and as I was out of the 'Idol bubble', I felt the full meaning of it. So many things were going on that I hardly noticed how the time flew by and the finale of American Idol's season eight arrived. I got to see Adam, Kris and Danny a few times during the rehearsals for the big event, along with the other contestants, but we didn't really have time to hang out together. Then Danny was out and had joined the rest of us in the rehearsals of the finale show, leaving Adam and Kris as the top two.

Tuesday morning we all came to work on the choreography and the order of the performances of the concert Wednesday night. Adam and Kris were excused so they could work on their own performances for the night and I sneaked into the room where Adam was practicing his songs. He didn't notice me coming in and just sang into the microphone on the little stage, without anybody else around.

"Wow." It was all I could say when he finished his song. No music, no sound or visual effects, no outfits and no audience. Just Adam and a beautiful song. It was more than enough to blow me away and leave me speechless. Adam's eyes flew open and he looked around, surprised to find me there. He could totally get lost in a song and let it absorb him completely.

"Allie! Hey, sweetie." He gave me a hand and pulled me up to the mini-stage to give me a kiss on the cheek. "I didn't see you coming in."

"Yeah, you've been pretty carried away. Damn, that was unbelievable, man."

"I don't know, I feel it's not good enough."

"What are you talking about?! You're _amazing_!"

"It's just…" He sighed and sat down on the stage, rubbing his face with exhaustion. "I guess I'm just nervous."

"You?" I asked, sitting down next to him. I wasn't even able to add a sarcastic edge to my voice, because he was so serious that it made me suddenly worried.

"I know you think I'm never nervous and always confident… and usually I am. But right now I'm freaking out."

"Why?" I asked simply, not sure of what to do.

"Because there's so much to do with the songs and we no time at all and we have the rehearsals for tomorrow's show as well… and I feel like I'm not doing anything right."

"You're doing everything right." I put my hand on his back. "You're such an incredible artist. And the way you sang this song is beyond all words. Seriously, you blew me away." I didn't need to put an effort in sounding convincing, because I was speaking from the heart, meaning every word. "I know you're under a lot of stress right now, but weren't you the one who said that you're here to stay as long as possible? You did it, you're in the top two and you've got the chance to show as much of what you do as you could. Winning or not, you got to the end." He continued to look into my eyes for a few more seconds and then nodded.

"Not winning is not what worries me. I'm more concerned about screwing up, big time." He inhaled deeply. "But you're right, I have to calm down."

"You do." I agreed.

"It's just not that easy." He leaned to the side until he was practically lying and put his head in my lap.

"Try to think about something else." I stroked his black hair lightly. "Think about the tour… you won't be judged anymore and we all will just have lots of fun and give the performances of our lives…" I heard him sigh a little easier.

"It's gonna be so great." Adam smiled and turned his head to look up at me. "We'll enjoy every moment, I'm sure."

"I know!" I laughed, imagining how we would drive everybody crazy with our never-ending energy, the way Danny referred to it. "And you're performing with Queen tomorrow!"

"Oh, that's a good one." Adam chuckled and I could see he was relaxing a little bit.

***

The drive and excitement during Adam's performance of _'A Change Is Gonna Come'_ were unbelievable, almost impossible. Everybody was shouting and clapping and I was probably the loudest among them, but couldn't care less. I wasn't able to control the pure excitement that was taking over me. When he finished the song my heart was pounding so powerfully it was difficult to breath and my eyes were filled with tears, which I quickly brushed away. I didn't know even why I was crying, but I surely didn't want anybody to notice this.

The song sounded even more impressive when Adam sang it from the huge stage of Nokia Theater than it did when I heard him rehearsal it. He had an amazing presence on the stage, that's for sure. Besides, he looked astonishingly handsome that night in a shiny grey suit… And there I was, innocently convinced he couldn't surprise _me_ anymore. Wrong!

The judges were all ecstatic and blown away by Adam's performance and the audience was responding almost too enthusiastically, clapping and screaming. I was proud of him so much and extremely happy for him at those moments.

When Ryan enounced his numbers again, Adam looked down at me and I showed him thumbs up, he mouthed a 'thank you' and when I smiled widely, he blew me a kiss. It was a small gesture that didn't mean anything special, but it was enough to make my heart squeeze and double its pace, something I didn't think was possible at that point as it already was hammering so quickly.

Then Kris sang his second song and although I thought he was good, I couldn't even concentrate on his performance properly. I mean, how could I focus on Kris and his laid back singing when so many emotions blended and boiled inside of me? I was burning to yell with excitement, but it didn't seem appropriate at the time. At least until he finished the song and I could let it all out.

Later Adam and Kris sang _No Boundaries_ one after another, neither did a spectacular job, but since I've heard the recording already, I knew how much it all went wrong really. When Adam finished his version of the song there was an explosion of excitement and applause again. And even though some of the judges didn't like the song and Simon practically made fun of it, I had goosebumps on my skin. Even after hearing the song a few times, only now, when I heard and watched it live I understood how Adam could like it. I finally got the meaning of it and now it made perfect sense. It was perfect for American Idol's finale, because we all proved that there are no limits for dreams and that anyone could do anything.

Adam threw another glimpse in my direction, this time without smiling and I could read disappointment in his eyes. He was disappointed of himself. I was about to smile to encourage him, but he already looked away. I hoped I would be able to talk to him later. I cannot describe how excited and proud I really was about Simon's words to him. I've never appreciated Simon and his opinion as much as I did that night. And I usually did have respect to his judging.

I waited impatiently for Kris to sing the last song and for the show to be over and then immediately made my way to the backstage, grateful that nobody cared enough to talk to me on the way to the dressing room I knew Adam and Kris were in. I knocked on the door and heard Kris give the permission to come in.

"Hey, guys!" I stepped into the room and the both came to hug me. "Man, it was amazing! You both rocked!" Well, I wasn't lying really, Kris was good, but it's not my fault Adam was so amazing. And I never said they were equally great…

"Thanks." They smiled at me and then Katy came into the room and I took some more time to hug Adam and talk to him, while Kris was talking to his wife. We didn't have a lot of time though, because other people started to arrive and then both of the finalists had to do some interviews.

***

We were performing Pink's '_So What'_ at the opening of American Idol's finale. I watched Adam's every move as he made his way to the side of the stage to crouch in front of the camera. He managed to stand out in every way possible, even though we all wore white clothes; we all sang the same song, dancing around the same stage, partly using the same moves. He looked as if he already was an international superstar. Well, maybe he was. He was also the most handsome there, at least for me. Though I can't imagine how anybody could think otherwise. His black hair came in contrast with the white fabric of his outfit even more than it usually did with his brilliant blue eyes. Yes, the lyrics were the same for all of us. Still, his incredible voice was beyond any comparison as it filled every corner of the Nokia Theater. Of course, his clothes and looks and voice were all marking him out, but there was always something else. Something I could never put a finger on. There was something special about him, that couldn't be described in words. He was special. This was what he always longed for; being unique, one of a kind. He loved to stand out and not to blend in, as he once put it. I must admit, he did a great job at it. Maybe it was just me, but he was such a distraction, really…

I couldn't believe it was really over. A couple more hours, a few more songs, a little more jokes and talking and… that was it. The long months of Idol that had changed our lives were now coming to end and it didn't seem possible. I had a hard time to wrap my mind around the idea it was the end and there wasn't going to be anymore Idol for us. Soon enough a new group of talented singers will take our place and experience what we had. Well, at least I had a little bit more time to get used to this idea than Adam and Kris. Though Kris seemed quite relieved it was finally ending. Adam, on the other hand, felt pretty much like I did. We shared a long conversation about it last night over the phone.

When we all were done with our performances, everybody except Kris and Adam gathered at the backstage in front of the screens on which we could see the stage. There was so much unnecessary talking to make the tension greater and then finally the moment came. We watched Ryan reading the note. This little piece of paper contained somebody's fate in it. I squeezed my hands into tight fists and bit the inside of my lower lip so nobody would notice.

I knew it didn't matter, I knew he didn't care and I also knew it wouldn't change anything, still somewhere deep down inside, I wanted to hear Adam's name announced as the winner of American Idol season eight. Simply because I believed with all my heart he deserved it more than anyone ever had. Both from an objective and a subjective point of view, if you know what I mean. Not that I would ever admit thinking this.

"… Kris Allen!" It took my mind a moment to process it and when it hit me, I let out the breath I didn't know I was holding. We all walked out to the stage and immediately I hugged Adam. I don't know why, I just felt like doing it. By no means had I pitied him. He was going to be a legendary icon in the music industry, there was no doubt about that. I just couldn't help myself. He seemed perfectly fine with that and we both sang with Kris _'No Boundaries'_. He had his hand around my waist and I had both of mine around his neck, we moved to the rhythm of the music and it felt so nice and right that I was almost glad he didn't win and could be there with all of us. It wasn't the kind of burning feeling that took my breath away; it was just very pleasant and exciting. I felt closer to him than ever and suddenly I didn't care if it was as a little sister or as a good friend or something else, all I knew was we were Adam and Allison at the finale of American Idol, ready to capture the world of music and make our dreams come true. Nothing else mattered then.

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Talk to me! Tell me what you think!

I kind of rushed those four chapters, because I've had them almost done already, but next chapters will be out quickly too. Next chapter's on the way…


	5. Chapter 5

Hey, everybody! Thank you for reading and reviewing so very much!

Don't own anything there is to own.

Enjoy!

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5 – Just a talk

During the weeks that followed American Idol's end until the preparations for the tour began I was busy most of the time with interviews and arrangements for my album. Adam was even busier as he attended most of the shows and interviews with Kris and had his own as well. More than ever, it felt like there were two winners of Idol. He also started working on his record already, so I didn't get to see him much. Well, not at all really, but we talked on the phone a few times, so the keeping in touch part was working pretty well so far.

I was reading fan mail at my room the day before I had to go to the tour rehearsals, when I heard my mom calling my name.

"Honey, do you have a couple of minutes? There is something I wanted to talk to you about." This couldn't be good… I walked to the living room, wondering what could a conversation that started like this be about.

"Oh no, please, not _the talk_!" I moaned. "We've already had _the talk_."

"No, it's not _the talk_. It's just _a_ talk." Mom promised and I joined her on the couch.

"Okay…" I sighed. "What do you wanna talk about?"

"Generally… your friends."

"What about them?"

"Well, actually, about one of your friends. Adam." I raised my eyebrows in surprise. What could she possibly want to say about Adam? "I'm not sure it's good for you to be his friend."

"What?!" I couldn't help but raise my voice. "Where is this coming from?"

"First of all, he's ten years older than you."

"So what? It's not like I'm dating him." Not that the age difference was the reason for that, but that was beside the point. "There is nothing wrong in being friends with someone older than you!"

"I just think he has far too much of an influence on you, partly because of his age and partly because of his personality…"

"Even if he has some kind of influence on me, it can be only positive, Mom."

"Positive doesn't bother me."

"He's a great person; there is nothing negative about him."

"There are a lot of things I've heard about him, most of them aren't very good."

"Oh, come on, Mom! You have to know better than believing every rumor there is."

"Are you saying that they're not true?"

"I'm saying you should know the person to judge him."

"So what, he's not gay?" I could clearly hear the sarcasm in her voice and it bothered me more than it should have.

"I have no idea!" I lied. I knew he was, everybody did. Sadly. "We've never talked about that." Well, at least part of it was true. Now that I thought about it, we never touched that subject. Maybe I was too embarrassed to talk about it or just didn't want to know more than necessary – it was hard enough as it was. "But I don't see how this is something negative about him? So what if he is?"

"It's not the fact that he is or isn't, it's more about the life style he's leading."

"What do you mean? The fact he used to work at night clubs before Idol? At least he was doing what he liked for a living."

"Did you know he tried drugs?" I stared at her for a moment. Wow, she was well informed. "What? He never told you that?"

"Actually, we talked about it once. I'm just surprised you know about it." She seemed a little disappointed about my reaction to this fact.

"What are you talking about? He talked about it in some interview. Now everybody knows about it. This is another thing that bothers me about him, by the way. And the fact he's actually talking to you and everybody about drugs and everything is simply unacceptable!"

"Have you actually read the article?"

"No, but I've heard about it. I don't want you to-" I didn't let her finish.

"It's too bad, because if you'd read it, you would know he actually referred to it as a very stupid thing to do, which he learned from experience. He told me all about it, just to advice me to never try it myself." Mom was speechless for a short while, surely looking for something wrong about that too.

"You're obsessed about him. You talk about him all of the time and make him sound so impossibly perfect. For you, there is nothing wrong in anything he does, you practically worship him! And it worries me, as a mother, that you idolize somebody that way."

"You're not serious!" I could hardly control my voice. "I'm not obsessed about him; I just like to be his friend, because he's amazing. But it doesn't mean I…" Then it hit me. I knew exactly why she was so worried. "Oh my God! You think I'm going to try drugs just because he did?!"

"Well, I certainly hope you wouldn't!"

"Of course I wouldn't! You should know it better than anyone else, you've raised me! Don't you trust me at all?"

"I do, honey, but it does concern me. You'll understand it when you have your own kids. I don't want you to have bad influence, especially now, that you're so young and-"

"Stupid? You've got to be kidding me! You know, Adam told me he was sure I'm never gonna try that stuff, but he wanted me to have another reason not to. Funny, but he believes in me more than you do!"

"Here we go again! That wonderful, amazing, perfect Adam of yours! This is really wrong! Your life is practically all about him!"

"What are you talking about?!" I was beyond angry. I was furious.

"You started to dress more like him, your performances are more and more like his, which are way… over the top, if you ask me, you put a hundred colors in your hair and you even wear only black nail polish now! Isn't it enough?"

"Oh come on! Maybe you blame him for my red hair too, even though I've had it dyed before I even met him? I've always liked black nail polish and I do change it sometimes. I add colors in my hair because I feel like it and it has nothing to do with Adam, who by the way doesn't even have blue highlights anymore! My style changed a little, because I'm not just a teenage girl now, I'm a rock singer and I have to dress suitably. Just because Adam helped me pick some of the cloths doesn't mean I don't dress according to my own taste! Although I still wear simple cloths very often. And people actually like my performances. I got to the top four on American Idol, if you remember."

"I like your performances, most of the time. I just don't think it's proper for you to perform the way he does."

"Don't worry, I'll never be able to perform that way." I tried to calm down a little. "Is there anything else wrong with Adam or me or our friendship?" I was harsh and sarcastic, I know, but I really couldn't stand the way she talked about him without really knowing him at all. "By the way, before you answer, do you know who made me change my mind about quitting school next year?"

"You said you thought about it better." She already knew what I was going to say, I could tell, but she just refused to admit it.

"I talked to Adam that night after I told you about my decision and he kind of talked me out of it. He made me think about it more and about my future. Do you still have reasons to hate him?"

"I don't hate him, for God's sake! I'm grateful, of course, but also disappointed that you listen more to him than to your patents."

"I just discussed the idea with him and he made me realize it wasn't very good and that I didn't really want it. You and Dad just yelled at me. And it's okay, I guess, because you're my parents. That's why sometimes I just need a friend to talk to about stuff."

"But you have lots of friends in your age."

"Which is why a couple of older friends couldn't hurt. He has some experience, but he's young enough for me to feel comfortable to talk about stuff…" I tried to explain my point of view to her, but then a better idea crossed my mind. "You know what? How about you meet him?"

"I've already met him."

"I know. I mean, what if you get to know him a little? It will calm you down, I promise." She was about to say something, but I added: "And if you still don't like him and don't approve of him as my friend, I won't be. How's that?" Risky, definitely risky. Could I keep this promise, if I had to? Well, I had to hope this wouldn't happen. But then again, how can you not love Adam? There was no way they wouldn't like him.

"Fair enough. Why don't you invite him for dinner sometime soon?" The excitement about seeing him tomorrow burst inside of me once again and suddenly I couldn't wait.

"Yeah, sure, I'll invite him tomorrow when we meet at the rehearsal."

***

It was impossible to miss him, my eyes spotted him instantly. I studied his appearance; nothing seemed to be different, it was same, familiar, sweet Adam. He was talking to a man from the crew who was in charge of the stage effects as I started walking towards him, unable to tear my eyes off of him. Of course, I've seen him on the TV, but it's been a few weeks since we'd seen each other in person and now I felt the excitement start to boil inside of me. Then he turned around and his lips stretched in a wide smile the moment he met my gaze. Ah, that incredible warm smile… I'd missed it so much. I was too impatient, so I ran, closing the distance between us and crashing into his body as he caught me in a huge hug. He lifted me from the floor and I hugged him even tighter than I thought was possible. There were no words to describe the feelings that overwhelmed me.

"Hey, pretty girl!" He set me down, taking a step back to look at me. "You look hot!" He complemented with a smile and I blushed. I was wearing those jeans that I once wanted but couldn't afford and Adam got them for me on my birthday. "Worth every cent." He noted. I couldn't believe he recognized the pants. But then again, it was Adam – outfits were his thing.

"My favorite pair." I smiled and hugged him again, leaning into his chest. He wrapped his arms around me once more and kissed the top of my head. "You're as tall as I remembered." I pointed out, purposely being over dramatic.

"We haven't seen each other for a few weeks, Allison…"

"Yeah, but it feels so much longer." I admitted. Was I really saying it out loud? "You know, I used to live with you. Now I don't see you for weeks…" I trailed off.

"I know what you mean. I've missed you too, sweetie." A few moments passed before he spoke again. "Hey, did you lose weight?" I could hear concern in his voice. I smiled and leaned away to look at him.

"Not really. Maybe a little." I shrugged.

"Are you eating well?" The concern was evident on his face now too. "I hope you get enough rest and –"

"Oh, stop it! I'm perfectly fine. You sound like my mom and not my big brother."

"Oh, well excuse me for being worried about you!" He laughed. God, did I miss this sound! "How was school?" We walked slowly, his hand around my shoulder and mine around his waist.

"I didn't really have the chance to go back to school. The 'celebrity schedule' wasn't very flexible. I studied a little at home and the exams were okay, so I'll be able to graduate next year. Hopefully."

"Yeah, being famous isn't an easy work." He chuckled. Who would know better than him? He had done so much since the end of American Idol, it wasn't hard to guess how much free time he had. Which was probably none.

"There are some benefits too, though." I noted.

"Sure. Otherwise why would we want it so much?"

"Yeah. I hope it will be fun on the tour."

"It will be _a lot_ of fun. We'll take care of it." I laughed at his mischievous expression.

"I heard you're getting the top tank on the bus…" I held back a giggle.

"What?" Adam looked at me in confusion.

"You said you liked the top, didn't you?"

"Oh, God…" He rolled his eyes with a smile. "Kris just had to laugh, didn't he?" He didn't really seemed to care about it, though.

"I think it was clear anyway. Great answer, I wouldn't have thought about something like that. I couldn't stop laughing… Why didn't they ask who used to shower first back at the mansion?"

"They would ask something like this, wouldn't they?" He laughed again.

"So, tell me, what's new?"

"There's nothing to tell really."

"Oh, Adam, before I forget, would you like to come over for dinner this Saturday?" I tried to sound casual and not to show there was more to it than just a meal. It was sort of a test which he had to pass, otherwise… I didn't even want to think what would happen if he failed. Not that it was possible…

"Sure, I'd love to." He smiled again and I was already getting dizzy. What was I going to do for the next few months?

***

"Good evening, everyone!" Adam smiled his charming smile as he entered the living room beside me. Honestly, I think he passed the test that moment already. Everything else just added more points in his favor. Which meant for my favor too, I have to mention. He had a bag from some bakery in one of his hands and by the delicious smell I could guess it was a cake. Needless to say Adam was as polite and nice as always and by the end of the night he completely won my parents over.

I chuckled silently as I watched my Mom giggling at one of his jokes and giving him a goodbye hug, before Dad shook Adam's hand and I walked him to his car outside of my house.

"Thank you for coming." I smiled at him when we stopped in front of his car.

"Oh, no, thank you for inviting me. I had a blast and dinner was delicious."

"You thanked my Mom like a hundred times already." I giggled.

"Ninety nine times, actually, but who counts." He joked and I couldn't help but hug him. I was getting addicted to any kind of affection involving Adam.

"Goodnight, Adam, I'll see you Monday." I wished it could be sooner, but at least I was going to be with him almost every day for the next three months. Ah, the thought alone warmed my heart with joy.

"Sure. Goodnight, sweetie." Adam kissed my cheek and got into his car. He waved his hand and I watched him drive away into the night until he disappeared from my sight.

When I got back into the house, my mom didn't waste any time and started talking about Adam immediately. She sounded like an excited teenager, which made me giggle here and there.

"He's such a sweetheart. I knew he was nice, but he is just so polite and charming." She concluded.

"So you admit you were wrong about him?" I didn't want to miss the chance to get this thing off the way.

"Oh, yes. Adam is a lovely young man. And he has a wonderful sense of humor too."

"I think you've got a crush on him, Mom." I chuckled and gave her a kiss on the cheek before going to my room. "Like half of the country." I added under my breath when she couldn't hear me anymore. "Including me."

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Okay, so I know the drugs thing was in the 'Rolling Stone' interview, but let's pretend he didn't do this interview yet. You'll understand everything later…

Hope you enjoyed this, tell me if you did or didn't! =D


	6. Chapter 6

Thank you everyone who read and reviewed! It means a lot.

EO4EVER, I think you totally should write that story! It would be great! Don't worry, in this story it won't be the main problem, so it's nothing like what you described. =D

And no, this isn't my first story. I've been writing for a while now. XD But it's the first one I'm actually posting here. I hope to post some other stuff I've been working on as soon as I can finish it. Not before I finish this one, of course.

Don't own people and stuff…

Enjoy!

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6 – Excitement, excitement and more excitement

It wasn't long before everything was ready for the tour and soon enough we all found ourselves checking out the stage at our first destination's arena.

"I can't believe the concert is tonight! I'm so excited!" I called enthusiastically.

"Yeah, I can't believe we're performing here." Kris said, looking at the thousands of empty sits.

"It's all so surreal, isn't it?" Adam stood beside Kris, looking in front of him. "Just picture it, in a few hours this place will be completely full with screaming fans, all because of us."

"Unbelievable." Kris agreed.

"Come on, you know I'm the best!" We heard Danny's joking voice and then he took my hand and started to dance salsa with me. I tried to keep up, which was hard to do as I was laughing so hard. Apparently he was trying to prove to Matt he was a better dancer. How _Danny _of him.

"You, my friend, might be a good salsa dancer, but I've got some modern moves." Matt said in one of his annoyingly funny voices. He pulled me from Danny to bust his moves, so Danny pulled Megan up from her sit.

"I'm still better!" Danny could get very competitive sometimes and he hated when people said he wasn't very good at something he liked to do.

"I think I'm the best!" I announced, doing some crazily energetic moves, making fun of both Danny and Matt.

And then I felt someone's hands on my shoulders and I turned my head in time to see Adam winking at Matt.

"Grab the feet." He told Matt.

"What?" I asked in confusion, but before I could do anything, Matt lifted my feet and Adam held me under my armpits. "Hey, put me down!"

"I don't think so." Adam wrinkled his nose and shook his head.

"Yeah, you're starting to get on my nerves lately." Matt agreed and both of them started to carry me to the edge of the stage. "What do you say, man, we get rid of this annoying fireball, finally?"

"Sure!" Adam called and started to move me from side to side, higher every time. "One…" He said slowly.

"Two…" Matt joined. I knew they wouldn't throw me from the stage, but I actually screamed and squeezed my eyes shut, when they called "Tree!" together. Then I felt the ground under my feet again and Adam's hands on both of my sides steadied me.

"You can open your eyes now." He whispered into my ear and even though I felt shivers run down my spine, I started laughing with everybody else.

***

"Wow, it was like the best feeling ever!" I was almost yelling excitedly, although my throat was burning from so much singing and screaming.

"I couldn't agree more!" Adam was smiling happily, his eyes sparkling with as much excitement as I felt. We just finished our first concert and were heading off to our hotel rooms after giving countless autographs and interviews.

"I feel like a famous star or something." Kris said in his low, almost lazy voice, which sounded even more tired after the concert that night.

"You _are_ a famous star, man." Adam chuckled and put one arm around Kris' shoulders and the other around mine.

"Right." Kris still had a hard time adjusting to his new status. Though we all kind of couldn't believe everything was real.

"I can't wait for the next concert!" I said.

"And I'm just drained." Kris complained.

"Yeah, me too, but it's a good kind of exhaustion." Adam agreed.

"I was so nervous in the beginning I couldn't breathe!" I admitted.

"Yeah, well I guess we all were." Kris nodded. "There were so many people there! I don't think I've ever seen so many people at one place… It was unbelievable."

"And think about the fact that _all_ of them came to see _us_. It seems unrealistic." Adam added.

"And how crazy they all get when they see us!" I said enthusiastically.

"It's so flattering and makes me kind of want to get to know them all…" Adam sighed lightly.

"Man, to think that instead of singing on that stage and signing my own photos, I could totally be one of those screaming fan girls who wait for hours to get an autograph… I would've been like your number one fan, guys!"

"Aww…" Adam smiled. "And you would even make a sign for me?"

"Sure. I mean, I've never done this before, but I totally would this season, if I hadn't actually been on it."

"You're just saying it because you know us, Allie." Adam chuckled.

"No, I'm serious; I think I would even yell 'marry me!' to Kris." We all laughed a little.

"I'm already married."

"Your point?" I raised an eyebrow. "As if it's ever stopped a dedicated fan."

"As long as you don't strip and run to the stage he's on…" Adam trailed off, still smiling.

"I thought you found it cool." Kris snickered.

"Yeah, but not when my little sister is doing it." Do I really need to describe how much I hated this part of the conversation?

"Well, if she was your fan she would do something crazy for sure." Kris teased.

"I am his fan." I objected. "And yours. I just don't need to scream or strip or whatever to get your attention. It's kind of hard to ignore me when you're stuck with me most of the time, if you know what I mean."

"Oh, we do!" Kris held back a laugh.

"Besides, I know you guys off the stage, so I know who you really are." I joked.

"So you're saying we don't excite you anymore?" Adam pulled on a fake insulted expression. "I'm hurt!" Damn it. He had no idea how far from the truth he was…

***

"…So mostly I just did some catching up with my friends." Adam was telling me how he spent the night after our first concert as we were eating breakfast at a nice coffeehouse next to our hotel. Apparently he talked with his friends almost the whole night.

"Do you ever sleep?" I asked jokingly.

"Nope. I'm a vampire." He said calmly. "Twilight, remember?" We both laughed at the memory of Randy's comparison at Idol's finale.

"Right…"

"Oh no…" Adam sighed.

"What?"

"I think I see a couple of reporters down the street." He explained and my eyes widened.

"Why are you so sure they're reporters?"

"The cameras in their hands kind of give it away."

"Damn!" I said under my breath. I was having such a good time, why did they have to ruin it? "Are they like everywhere?"

"You better get used to it." Adam chuckled and asked the waiter to bring us the bill. "Let's get out of here." He grabbed his jacket as I got up. He put his hand on my back, pushing me slightly to walk.

"You think they saw us?" I asked when we entered the hotel's lobby.

"I really hope they didn't, but I'm not sure. I love doing interviews, but it's like we can't go outside without being photographed and asked million of questions anymore! And sometimes they're almost threatening."

"They can be dangerous. Whatever, it's their problem." We entered the elevator.

"Yeah, we won't let it bother us." Adam checked his watch. "We should hurry up anyway; we're leaving in less than one hour."

"Let's go get ready then." Adam smiled, kissed my temple and walked towards his room. I stared after him, even after he disappeared from my sight. What was he doing to me, for the sake of all that's holly?!

I dragged my feet to my room, although I didn't have anything to do anymore. I'd packed the few things I've used already this morning; I was fully dressed and ready to go. My mom wasn't coming with me to the next concert, so I was all alone with nothing to do. Now, even when I was busy with something important my mind would occasionally skip to Adam, so imagine what I was going through that hour, when I didn't have anything else to concentrate on…

This situation was getting out of control completely. I was thinking, and most importantly feeling way too much. I wasn't supposed to react to Adam like I did. Both physically and mentally. I wasn't supposed to even dream about the kind of feelings I had. It was so wrong. _He should be like my brother._ I told this to myself too many times to count. It's too bad my heart wasn't as responsible as my brain… Though my mind wasn't as strong as I would've wanted it to be, wandering to forbidden places that way…

***

"So, tell me what it's been like when you came back home from Idol. We never really got the chance to talk about it properly." Adam was whispering so not to wake the girls up. He had joined us in the girls' bus for the day, claiming their bus was too crowded and smelly. We were on our way to a hotel, but everybody else in the bus, except the two of us, drifted to sleep already, even though it was just around seven.

"I don't know… It's not the same." I whispered back. "People just don't look at me the same way. Even my friends. Most of them want to talk with me only about Idol and how it is to be a star, about the celebrities I've met and about you…" I don't know how I was able to tell him so much, I simply felt very comfortable talking to him about almost anything. Anything, except for one thing, which was the one thing that I couldn't tell anyone about and it drove me insane.

"Me?" He raised his eyebrows in surprise.

"Yeah, many people are like _crazy_ about you and can't believe I know you…" I rolled my eyes. We were both on my bunk, leaning against the bus wall and looking at each other. That kind of moments made me hate the feelings I had for him. It could've been so much easier, if I didn't have to fight the urge to kiss him every five minutes… "And then there are those who have never been my friends before and now suddenly they're all trying to get closer to me. But neither of them really wants to be my friend for who I am, they just want to be able to tell they know a celebrity… You know, Allison Iraheta from American Idol." I faked an excited expression on my face and then sighed. "I mean, don't get me wrong, I love to sing and to be on stage, it's my dream and it's what I want to do for the rest of my life, but I'm a person aside from being a singer…"

"I know it's tough. It's a bit unpleasant even for me. You have no idea how many people called me to 'keep in touch' after years I haven't heard from them. I'm like 'so now you want to be my friend'." He chuckled lightly.

"How do you deal with it so easily? It doesn't seem to bother you very much."

"You'll get used to it. And you'll see who your real friends are, those who'd be with you all along, no matter what's up with your career. I think it's a bit harder for you, because you became famous over night and teenagers can be more… excitable than adults." He gave me a warm, encouraging smile and my heart melted at the sight of it. "Besides, I don't take it as seriously as you, I actually look at it with humor and I know that it's not as easy at your age." It wasn't mocking or anything like that. Even when he mentioned my young age, it didn't bother me at all. He had this natural ability to make everything sound just wonderful.

"At least your friends remember you're not only a rock star. At that party my friend threw… Remember I told you about it?" Adam nodded patiently. "At that party everybody only wanted to hear about the show and then they wanted me to sing most of the night and then I realized that it was the only reason I was invited. She only wanted a celebrity at her party… I've got like a couple of close friends left. I know they're my real friends, but the rest…" I bit my lip and then sighed heavily. "Oh, man, I sound like a depressed drama queen lately…"

"It's okay, sweetie. I really do get you. But you have to know, that you have your family, who loves you no matter what and you have at least one other true friend that cares about you as a person and not a celebrity." I looked up at him and he smiled his dazzling sweet smile, taking my hand in his. Shivers, heat, quickening heartbeats… Yeah, same usual stuff I always felt when something like that happened.

"Thank you. You always manage to make me feel better, somehow."

"No problem, it's not like I have to actually do something for it." He smiled again and released my hand. "Do you regret doing Idol?"

"Oh, man, hell no!" My whisper got too loud to be called one, but no one seemed to stir or anything. "Idol's been amazing. It helped me with my dream, you know." I was beaming at him sincerely. "It's so amazing to be able to do your thing this way, perform every night for people who totally enjoy it, record an album… And I got to meet great people, to get to know them, to be their friend. I love you guys like a family, you know it. And we're having tones of fun on stage and off of it."

"We do, don't we?" Adam laughed quietly, probably remembering last night's show and the certain clothing items. I grinned at the same memory.

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As always, I hope you liked it. =D

If you leave a review to tell me what you think, it will be awsome!

Okay, so there is only one more chapter to the first part of the story, then it splits into two versions like I'd explained. And this chapter's in the making...


	7. Chapter 7

Hey everybody!

So first of all, thanks for reading the story and sometimes even reviewing! =D

Now, this is the last chapter of part one. Weeeee! XD I advise to read part two (both versions), because without it the story has no point… So yeah, read the second part, please.

I'm still possessionless (as in: I don't own anything…).

Enjoy!

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7 – Way too much

When I walked out of the hotel with Megan most of the idols were already waiting for our ride to arrive. It was the morning after another concert and we were already on our way to the next city. Megan and I walked up to Adam and Kris, who apparently were arguing about their fans.

"Yours are so much worse." Kris claimed. I raised an eyebrow, looking at Megan who shrugged her shoulders.

"What? Your fan girls are freakin' in love with you!" Adam laughed in response.

"Mine?! Yours are like completely insane!" Kris was sincerely shocked by Adam's accusations. "My fans are totally innocent next to yours. Yours are so much more…" He searched for the suitable word. "Passionate about you. They worship you, man!"

"No they don't! At least they don't hate _you_… Yours like to call me 'a screech' and stuff like that." Adam was still smiling, not really bothered by that fact.

"Well, at least they don't think you're boring and that you're going to be forgotten in about two years." Kris chuckled. "That's what they think of me. And we both know what's worse for a musician."

"That's because they're my fans and not yours." Adam laughed again and patted Kris on the back.

"Come on, boys, don't fight." I interfered finally. "Nothing can top 'Kradam' fans…" Kris, Adam and Megan burst out laughing at my comment.

"Well, there's always Adison." Kris gave us that one-sided smile of his.

"Not as crazy as Kradam." I shook my head, faking a thoughtful look.

"Let's all agree, that Kradison is the most horrible of all." We didn't even notice that Danny had joined us until he spoke.

"I actually like Kradison." Adam said in between laughs. "And Adison and Kradam too."

"Yeah, totally cool." Kris agreed.

"Creative stuff, I must say." I noted. "And I don't even know which fandom I prefer. They all rock." I gave them my usual 'thumbs-up' goofy approval.

"I say it's not fair only you three have common names!" Matt put an arm around each me and Megan as he came up from where he was talking to Anoop. "What about some Matison, or Mattegan?"

"It sounds horrible, dude." I laughed.

"Oh, so you prefer Danison or something?" We were laughing even harder than before.

"No, but Anoomatt sounds cool." I teased. "Or Danmatt. It's almost like dynamite." Our buses arrived and we started to walk towards them.

"Eww, that's awful." Matt wrinkled his nose, playing disgusted. "I like Meglison so much better, if you know what I mean…" I saw Megan roll her eyes, before Matt winked suggestively, earning a smack on the back of his neck from Adam.

"You better be careful with your tongue, Mattie." Adam warned him with a smile, though I was almost sure it wasn't a joke. I threw a glimpse at him. He seemed to really get into the 'big brother' role. I wasn't sure how I felt about it, though.

***

We were all in the same bus on the way from the airport to the hotel we were staying in this time. It wasn't very far away, but the traffic was horrible and it took us almost two hours to get to the hotel. I was sitting next to Matt, who fell asleep in the first half an hour of the ride, so I looked around, getting bored very quickly. Danny and Michael were both asleep as well on the far end of the bus; Lil was reading some magazine, while Scott was talking to someone on his cell phone as quietly as always; Adam was listening to his iPod with his eyes closed and Megan, who was sitting next to him was just looking out of the window; Kris was playing something quietly on his guitar next to Anoop, who just set there in silence, not even paying attention to Kris and his guitar.

To say the least, it was _too_ quiet for me. I was getting impatient by the second and eventually I got up, taking Matt's hat and putting it on my head. I walked to the front of the bus and grabbed the microphone that the tour guides used.

"Hey ya!" I said very loudly and enthusiastically. Everybody jumped in surprise and looked at me. Some of them had their hands on the chest. Good. "Bored already?" I glimpsed at the driver, who chuckled a little. I took it as a sign he didn't mind. "Wow, it's so loud in here…" I said sarcastically and saw Matt looking at his hat on my head. "You can live without it, dude." I assured him.

"Allison, save some energy for the concert." Michael said from his seat.

"Since when do I have limitations in energy?" Adam, Megan and Danny laughed at my answer and then Adam clapped, turning his iPod off.

"Go Allie!" He shouted and I laughed, realizing he wanted me to sing. Well, why not?

I started to sing the first song on my mind, making silly faces and moves, as much as the microphone's cable allowed me. By the second song most of them were singing along with me and when I finished they applauded as if it was my concert or something.

"Woo! You rock!" Adam shouted like a fan from the audience. "We love you, you're the best!"

"Yeah! You're my idol!" Kris joined in and we all laughed.

"Thank you, my favorite fans!" I replied and bowed dramatically.

"Marry us!" Matt joked.

"Who exactly?" I pretended I was considering it.

"All of us! We all love you!" Adam answered instead of Matt and I mimicked a thoughtful expression.

"Sure, why not." I said into the microphone.

"Wait, it's illegal to marry a sibling." Matt disagreed jokingly. "And sick too."

"Oh and the fact that she's minor doesn't bother you?" Danny questioned. I knew they were only kidding and nobody took it seriously, but it really bothered me. For me it became too personal, as if they all knew about the endless battles I had in my head.

"Whatever, boys, don't fight, we know you all want her." Lil cut in and I was truly grateful for it. "Who goes next? It really was getting too boring."

"I say Adam. He doesn't ever get tired either." Kris suggested and to my surprise Adam just stood up and walked to the microphone, taking it from my hand.

"Oh, I don't mind at all, Kris." He said. I was about to go back to my place, but Megan pulled me to sit next to her in Adam's place. I looked at her questioningly and she smiled at me a wicked smile.

"What?" I asked.

"Wanna have some fun?"

"Sure." I was still confused. Adam began singing in the background and I couldn't help but feel like an amateur in comparison to him.

"Get the green bag from the shelf." Megan told me and I stood up to pull it by its straps that were hanging down from the shelf.

"Here," I handed it to her and she opened it. Immediately I knew what was on her mind. "You're a genius." I stated, a grin spreading across my face.

"Shh, let him finish the song." We both turned to look at him and started to clap, singing along with him.

"Oh, Adam, do my makeup!" Kris shouted from the front seat and we all laughed. Then he started to play on the guitar and Adam sang to the familiar melody. Halfway through the song Adam turned for a moment to look out of the front window and Megan didn't miss the opportunity. She threw at him the object we'd gotten from her bag earlier, aiming perfectly so it landed on his shoulder. Adam looked at his shoulder, turning around and raised the bra by the straps.

The next moment the bus seemed to shake from our hysterical laughter. Adam was practically crying from laughing so hard. The underwear had been kind of an inside joke ever since the first time when Adam got a bra and a thong thrown on the stage, while I was with him. Though it surely wasn't the last time he received a clothing item from the audience.

"Woo!" Adam shouted and did a little striper dance with the bra above his head, like he usually did during concerts. "You guys are horrible." He said with a smile.

"I think you earned the official nickname 'The BB'." Matt announced loudly.

"The what?"

"The Bra Boy." He explained and we all cracked up again.

"You're mean!" Adam said, still laughing.

"Well, if you prefer 'The UG" as in 'The Underwear Guy'…"

"Oh, come on, guys, he has too many nicknames already." Kris argued with a smile.

"Like Glambert?" I could tell Lil was smiling widely without even looking at her.

"Or Guyliner." Anoop reminded us.

"And Rock God!" I added.

"And all the other kind of Gods those sinful people named him." Megan laughed.

"I am not prying to that." Danny pointed his finger on Adam jokingly.

"Neither am I!" Adam laughed with him. "Come on, stop it, I can't breathe!"

"Yeah, have some mercy, you people! How many compliments can a guy stand in one day?" I said shaking my head in fake disapproval. "He still has a lot of love to suffer tonight."

"You little, evil fireball!" Adam said through his teeth, barely able to stop smiling. "Come here!" He pulled on a threatening expression, which looked hilarious on Adam's sweet face, especially with his smile coming back on. I got up and started to run to the end of the bus, where he caught me and started to tickle me till I couldn't breathe. "Whose bra is it?" He asked, not bothering to try and sound angry.

"I'm not telling you!" I said between my giggles as he continued to tickle me.

"I'll torture you until you finally give up!" He warned me, faking an evil look.

"Fine, fine, I'll tell you, just stop!" Adam took his hands from me and I tried to steady my breath. "It's Danny's." I confessed, pressing my lips together to stop myself from laughing. Adam laughed and was about to attack me again when we head Danny's reaction.

"No, it's not." It was silent for a long second and then we burst out laughing again.

"Obviously." Adam rolled his eyes. "Unless there's something you need to tell us…" Danny shook his head disapprovingly as we giggled.

"Fine." We heard Kris' voice from the front seat. "Give it to me." He raised his hand above his head, as if waiting for Adam to put the item in his hand.

"Here," While we all were still laughing, Adam actually walked to him and gave the bra to Kris. This made us only laugh harder. "I hope it's Katy's, though." Adam added and it was Kris' turn to laugh. Wow, we sure laughed a lot that day.

***

"Allie!" Adam ran up to me as soon as he got off the stage, lifting me in a hug. Needless to say how much effort my heart had suffered as it quickened its beats to an abnormal speed. "You were amazing!" He spoke very quickly and excitedly, hurrying to change his outfit for the last song.

"Thanks, you were as breathtaking and stage-shaking as usually!" I laughed, only half joking.

"You get better every time, girl." Adam beamed at me genuinely. "Really, the confidence and the presence… You, my girl," He pointed at me with his index finger. "Are a rock star!" I only had time to smile at him before he kissed my cheek and resumed his way to the dressing room, almost running.

My heart was out of control for long minutes now and I didn't even bother to try to steady it, I knew it was useless. I had some time until Kris finished his set of songs, so I entered the first empty room I found, leaned back on the cool wall and took in a deep breath. It was way too much for me. It was ridicules, how a simple gesture from him got me to this breathless state. The worst thing was that he didn't have to do anything; it was enough for him to just be next to me to get this reaction from my body. And he wasn't even trying to make me feel this way. Hell, he didn't even know he made me feel this way!

I wasn't able to describe everything I felt right then even to myself. The only thing I knew for sure was that my feeling for him went way past any adoration and affection towards a person, friend or brother. They were beyond any childish crush or a passing attraction. _So_ beyond. And now I could finally call those feelings a name. Even though I had probably known it before, it was the first time I could truly admit it in my mind.

I was in love with Adam Lambert.

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Share your opinion with me!

Also, I'll post the first version of part two on its own, like a sequel to this story. Hope it made sense…

Have lots of fun! =D


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